365. day 21.
Studying at my favorite table with my favorite drink, my favorite NeedtoBreathe album, and my favorite pens.
“How are you?” I don’t know why we ask. Most of the time, I think we don’t really want to know. I think we want to know that everything is “good,” or “great,” so that we can excuse ourselves and get back to our day.
I’m praying for boldness, courage, love, most of all, grace.
I want to ask, “how are you?” and really want to know the answer, even if it means getting messy with heart details and secrets and sorrows.
Someone I barely know asked me as she took my Starbucks order how I was doing this quarter without Gina, and I realized that she was the first person here who had really wanted to know. She wanted to know how my heart was. Really wanted to know. It clicked then. That I’m not lonely for people, company, or answers. I’m lonely for people that want to know me. Who love me not because of anything I’ve done, or can do, or can’t do, but because He loves me.
He loves me. He’s taking care of me. He’s reminding me why I’m here. That this isn’t permanent. That I need to love Him first.
So next time someone asks me, “How are you?” I don’t want my answer to be how I am in the moment, or how my day’s going, or what’s wrong, but how good He is, that He’s taking care of me, that He loves me.